In Which Drax The Destroyer Contemplates Blue Swede
by justplainrii
Summary: And Rocket, for whatever reason, feels compelled to translate and correct him. With Groot helping, of course.


"Ah, yes, this song. I take great joy in finally understanding the narrative it presents."

Rocket, sitting next to him at the dashboard, took a moment to, one, realize that Drax was talking to him, and, two, realize what Drax was talking about. "You mean _this_ song?"

"Yes." Drax seemed particularly proud of himself, saying this.

Rocket narrowed his eyes. "A narrative."

"Yes!"

"So a song about a horny guy has a… narrative. Like a story."

"Yes," Drax said again, "although, I was under the impression that the narrator of the story was some variety of fish. Not a horned creature."

Rocket took another second for that. "Wait, a _fish?_"

"Yes. Is that not the refrain of the song? He is hooked on a feeling," Drax said. "And fishing is the only thing I can think of that involves using a hook. I only assume that the Feeling mentioned with it is some particular type of hook that they use on Terra."

Why Rocket didn't just shut up and let the thing pass, he couldn't figure out. Maybe because he was halfway to laughing, but only half. "Uh… I think 'hooked' means somethin' completely different, there, Drax."

"A different definition?"

"Kinda."

"A metaphor, then."

"Uh… sure, yeah, a metaphor," Rocket said.

"I am Groot," Groot added.

"What is the meaning of the metaphor, then?" Drax leaned forward against the arm of his chair with hard eagerness. "If it truly does not involve fishing."

"Well, uh, lessee…" Rocket scratched his chin. "Well, uh, hooked is a word that means that you're… addicted. Like you don't wanna give it up."

"I see…" Drax nodded. "So the narrator is addicted to the feeling-hook."

"No, man, it's not a _hook_, it ain't about _fishing_."

"I am _Groot_," Groot agreed.

"Then what is the thing called a Feeling?" Drax's brow was furrowed.

"What, you don't know the definition of _that?_" Rocket said.

"I understand the word 'feeling' to mean sensation." Drax paused. "_Ah._ So he is addicted to a sensation."

"Yeah! Yeah, that's exactly it." Rocket felt oddly satisfied with himself.

"And the sensation is one that his lover gives him."

"Yep." Rocket nodded a few times, and returned his attention to the dashboard, since Drax seemed satisfied as well.

However, he continued. "And the sensation she gives him has to do with vertigo or something else related to high places."

"_What?" _And back to Drax again. This time Rocket didn't even question it.

"The next line in the song, he declares that he is high and that he believes that his lover is in love with him in return." There was a thoughtful frown on Drax's face. "Or is that a metaphor as well."

"Uh - well, first off, high ain't mean the place, here, like _bein'_ up high," Rocket said. "And it's not quite a metaphor, but…" Rocket threw up his hands for a moment. "Y'know what slang is, Drax?"

"No."

"Okay. It's, like, a different definition."

"I am _Groot_," Groot said.

"Yeah, exactly," Rocket replied. "A word that means a different thing if it's in a different place'n usual."

"I see…" Drax nodded a few times. "Then the definition in this context is not high, as in, a high place. What is the appropriate definition here?"

Here, Rocket grimaced, wondering how to put it. "Well… it's like, uh, bein' drunk."

Drax gave him an incredulous look in return. "He is intoxicated on his belief in his lover?"

"Well, metaphorically," Rocket said.

"You told me this was _slang_, not _metaphor!_" Drax said, sounding mildly outraged.

"Well, it's slang _and _a metaphor, okay?" Rocket replied.

"I _am_ Groot," Groot said, nodding.

"Yeah, 'xactly, they ain't mutually exclusive," Rocket said.

Drax's expression remained firm. "So the metaphor is that he is high on the belief that his lover loves him in return, and this metaphor involves the slang for intoxication." His eyes lowered as he thought. "This is unnecessarily complicated for such a simple tune."

"Yeah, well, words are hard sometimes," Rocket said.

"I do not believe that words have the ability to be physical, much less hard," Drax replied, with the air of someone subtly trying to win an argument.

"_Understanding_ words s'what I meant," Rocket grumbled.

"This I can agree upon," Drax said.

"I am Groot." Groot nodded with a solemn expression on his face.

The song had transitioned to Go All The Way, by then, and remained the only sound for a brief while. Drax seemed to have retreated into his thoughts, temporarily, with his hand on his chin. Rocket took the opportunity to fiddle around with the console, since Quill was still taking a nap and Gamora was who-the-hell-knows-where. He didn't feel comfortable leaving that stuff alone.

"I… am Groot?" Groot lifted a little root-arm and pointed at Drax.

"Of course he's okay, ya idiot, it's just a song," Rocket replied.

"I am troubled by this narrative, now!" Drax said, not exactly in response, and he pounded his fist on the armrest.

"It's just a _song_, Drax," Rocket said. "Don't worry about it."

"No! I am beginning to doubt my understanding of what I originally took to be a bizarre love story!" He stood, and huffed a little. "Is it no longer true, then, that the narrator - who is not a fish _nor _a horned being - enjoys drinking wine with this girl he is courting?"

Rocket had to mentally fast-forward through the song to get to the lyrics Drax was (probably) thinking of. It only took him a few seconds. "Naw, Drax, they're still drinking wine." It made sense as a _not-_metaphor, after all.

Drax did not seem calmed. "Then does she still present him with some sort of insect as part of her courtship ritual?"

This one Rocket couldn't place. "Where does he say that, man?"

"He states he has received a bug from her, and he does not desire a cure," Drax said. "I took that to mean that she has given him an insect, and he has requested no further gifts, especially those of medicine."

...yeah, there was no way Rocket could fix that one. "Uh, well, bug is… slang again, Drax, it means, uh, illness, I guess."

Drax seemed particularly horrified by this. "She has infected him with a parasite?! And he does not want a cure for it?! This narrator is a _fool!" _He began to pace.

"No, man, she didn't get him sick with no parasite! Calm down, already," Rocket said.

"I am _Groot!_" Groot added, in support.

"Then what is this illness he has received from her?" Drax said.

"It's another metaphor, Drax," Rocket said, as patiently as possible.

"This is _another_ combination of slang and metaphor?!"

"Yeah, Drax! It's not uncommon, you're just… focusin' on it too much," Rocket said.

"What in the world is going on up here?" The volume of Drax's voice apparently had reached far enough through the Milano to get Gamora's attention, though she looked more confused than angered by it as she stalled at the top of the steps

"Tryin' to explain a metaphor to Drax," Rocket said, then paused. "Hey! Maybe you can help."

"Help with… a metaphor." Gamora leaned against the arm-rail of the steps with her arms. crossed.

"Yeah! Okay, here, Drax, listen to this." Rocket felt very frustrated that he couldn't get out of his chair to look back at them. "Gamora, would you say that being in love with someone makes you feel sick, sometimes?"

"I've never been in love," Gamora said, almost proudly. "In fact, I avoid it."

Oh, for the love of. "But you avoid it _because_ it makes you feel sick, right? Like, not as good as you can be."

"That's… the principle of it, yes," Gamora said.

"So that's the metaphor, there, Drax, okay?" Rocket said. "He's in love with her, it makes him feel sick, and he ain't want it to be cured 'cos he likes her so much. So he likes it."

Drax ceased his pacing and thought quite intensely for several seconds. "This I can understand," he finally said. "I myself have suffered far greater things than illness for the ones I care for."

"Yeah. That's exactly what it is," Rocket said, trying to sound believable, in case Gamora spoke up.

"I? Am Groot." Groot added this, as a closing statement.

"Then the narrative is still a courtship ritual," Drax said.

"Yep."

"The narrator and the woman who gives him these feelings."

"Yep."

With this, Drax nodded several times, and a contented line of a smile grew on his face. "I find this song enjoyable again, with everything set into proper definitions."

Gamora had long since returned to the lower floor, by then, muttering something about how she was wrong, that they were just as moronic as she had originally thought.

"Writers should take more care to avoid mixing slang and metaphor," Drax continued. "Imagine if the narrative had been intended as a song of hate towards the girl. Disgraceful."

"I guess, man," Rocket replied, hoping, with what was neither slang or a metaphor, for Quill to wake up and take the wheel.

"I am _Groot_," Groot agreed, though in a far more soothing manner.


End file.
